Single Life

“Or do you have a bachelor?” or how to effectively deal with annoying questions from loved ones

A loving family is the most wonderful thing that can happen to us. However, sometimes it happens that despite strong bonds, our actions or choices are not understood or accepted by them. Quite often, especially when we meet at holidays or family celebrations, we have to face many, unfortunately uncomfortable and unpleasant questions, such as “Where is our other half?”. What to answer and how to deal with such questions? 

Unfortunately, not always our loved ones are able to respect our choice and the fact that at this point in life we are alone and perhaps it will remain so, because it is simply in the world with us well and comfortable or just so arranged our lives. What these people often don’t realize is that their questions can upset or sadden us, and that some questions simply shouldn’t be asked because it violates our privacy and is rude. There are several ways to deal with annoying questions, but be aware that not all of them will work. Here they are:  

The “question for question” strategy

This is a way that will work especially for people with a cutting tongue, who ask questions like “When will you introduce us to your bachelor?”, “When should we get ready for your wedding?” annoy rather than sadden. It’s a good idea then, with a determined, unobjectionable face, to deflect the ball by asking another question along the lines of: “Where did you get that question? Are you trying to set me up with someone, or do you already have a candidate for this position?” or “Auntie/Grandma, I think you’re missing a lot of your social life, maybe it’s time to go to a party or a dance? You’ll have to wait a bit longer for my wedding. 

If the question is asked by a person, for example an aunt whose son/daughter also does not have anyone or is not planning to get married soon, you can ask: “How about …?” – This should reverse the roles and let the questioner know that you do not wish to be asked such questions. Another good question can be simply: “Doesn’t uncle know that it’s not nice to ask such questions?”

Straight to the point

Often, when we hear one of the bothersome questions that we don’t feel like answering, we can simply say that we don’t feel like answering, or that it is our private matter that we don’t want to share with anyone, and if we want to talk about it or confide in you, we will certainly come forward. A good answer will also be a simple “I’ll keep it to myself” or a text with which we were treated by adults in childhood, that is irreplaceable “Curiosity is the first step to hell”. 

Turning into a joke 

When you hear one of the uncomfortable questions, you can always answer with an old joke, but still very relevant. To any questions like “When will you introduce us to the boyfriend?”, “When the wedding?” and the like you can answer “When I get back from Radom”. Then you’ll probably hear a follow-up question: “So when?” – “I don’t know, for now I’m not going” 

What is better to avoid?

Not the best way to behave in this situation would be to get offended, run away or answer rudely. When we are really out of strength, the best thing to do is just to answer “I don’t want any more questions like that”, which should solve the situation.


main photo: unsplash.com/Kelsey Chance

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